Remembrance
by Defiant.Anjeru
Summary: Post Mass Effect 3/Synthesis Ending. EDI and Kaidan share a moment of friendship as she tries to comfort the Major. But his pain is not his alone. She, too, feels the loss of her Commander. Her friend. Together, they will remember and together, they will keep Shepard alive. Short fic, not EDI/Kaidan pairing. Hurt/Comfort/Angst/Friendship.


**A/N: **It would appear that I am back. I'm sorry for my extended absence. I was participating in National Novel Writing Month; I did finish! I'll have the entirety of it posted up on my fiction press account at some point, it anyone is interested in reading my first full length original piece of fiction. I have also been busy with work and school and kids. The woes of adulthood, right?

I will be updating my ongoing pieces, please do not worry and again, I apologize for the month and a half that it has taken for me to return to writing. I love all of you so much for your continued support and for the comments and reviews that always brighten my day.

This piece is just an idea that came to mind after finishing the Mass Effect trilogy again and having watched the Extended Cut DLC for the endings; in this particular case, the synthesis ending. Just a little thing to get me back into the writing and thus pleasing my muse. I hope you enjoy! I would love a review, if you find yourself inclined to leave one.

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**Remembrance**

"_I will remember Shepard. It is because of her that I am alive. And I am not alone."_

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I can see the pain in his eyes. It wasn't something that I could have understood before this moment. It was because of her, because of Shepard, that I understood. He's lost the woman he's loved for so long, the woman who selflessly sacrificed herself so that we, the rest of the galaxy, may live – free of the Reaper threat for good. It is because of her that I am alive – truly alive. I feel emotion and it is this emotion that drives me toward him, my arms outstretched to embrace him. I hug him because I want to comfort him, to show him that he is not alone, just as I am not. We will remember Shepard; I will remember her. It is because of her that I am alive, and that I am not alone.

He steps back and turns, eyes again on the memorial wall where he's just placed the name plate for her. A name plate we all gaze upon with sadness. I, too, feel this sadness. The pain that came with the knowledge that I had lost someone I cared for. He steps up to it again and traces his finger across the black lettering – his skin luminescent in that green haze we all now exhibited.

Kaidan has never looked so forlorn, but it is because of her sacrifice that we are now something greater. That he, too, could now live a life that we could have only imagined. Combined as we are – synthetic and organic – mortality could very well become a part of our past; humanity's past.

It is thanks to Shepard that I can stand her now and feel anything. Thanks to her that I've come so far. If it weren't for her, I would never be what I am now and I would be alone. She's given me Jeff, a home, and she has given me life.

"Dismissed," Kaidan sighs softly.

I can see the others beginning to file out of the hall, back to their stations; readying the Normandy to lift off the planet we had made home during repairs. I did not have to leave, but even if I had to, I wouldn't. A part of me didn't want to leave Kaidan alone.

"Major Alenko. I wish to accompany you to the Commander's cabin," I say and I watch as he tenses.

"There is nothing there now, EDI. It would...it would be better if we just wait, have someone else strip it down." The pain is evident in his voice, in the way the words are forced from his lips.

It is a strange sensation, the heavy weight I feel in my chest. Is this what the pain feels like?

"I think perhaps the Commander would have wished us to do this ourselves," I immediately put forth in protest. I fold my arms behind my back, slightly unsure. "It would be a disservice to let a stranger decide what is and is not important. _She _was important..._is_ important."

"EDI?" He gazes at me with a strange expression, one I find I cannot discern, but I feel this is what she would want.

"I owe her everything. I would like to assist you in this matter, if you would permit me to do so."

After a long moment of staring me down, he nods once. Together we take the lift in silence to the Commander's loft where Shepard's quarters remained. I cannot imagine how Kaidan must be feeling as we stand at the door to her room. It is clear he wishes to be elsewhere just as much as he wishes to stay. I do not fully understand his indecision and contradicting behavior, but perhaps in time I will. He hits the button and the doors slide open on a hiss. We walk in together, though we make it no further than a few steps into the room.

The fish are still alive, something the Commander would take pride in after her many unsuccessful attempts to keep them alive when we were hunting down the Collectors. Kaidan seems to notice this as well, his lips twitching into a shadow of a smile as he peers at the illuminated tank.

"Major Alenko, I find I want to say something to help ease your pain but I cannot seem to find the words – "

"It's alright, EDI." He smiles briefly again and then shakes his head. "When someone loses a loved one, we extend our sympathies for their loss."

"My sympathies for your loss, Major Alenko," I say almost immediately after he's finished.

"Thank you." He turns to me. "I am sorry for your loss as well."

"My loss?"

He nods once and the pain returns to his eyes. "You lost her, too. We all did."

The weight on my chest intensifies and I find myself uncomfortable. I nod and turn toward the desk, taking a few steps until I stood where Shepard displays her Star of Terra. I reach out and brush my fingers across its surface. I remember the pride in her eyes when I inquired to its significance. My eyes burn. Frowning, I lift the Star of Terra and turn, extending out toward the Major.

"She would want you to have this," I say lamely.

His eyes fall to my hand and then he shakes his head, pushing away my hand with his own. "You keep it, EDI. I think Shepard would have wanted you to have it. To her, you were a part of her crew, and her friend."

I hold the Star of Terra in my hand and clutch it to my chest. The burning in my eyes increases and the weight on my chest is nearly unbearable. Something slides from my eye and Kaidan's eyes widen in shock. He takes a step toward me and more liquid slides free.

"My god! EDI, are you...are you crying?"

"I appear to be leaking," I admit uncertainly, not sure if my body was capable of doing such a thing.

"You're...you're crying," he blinks and reaches up a hand to wipe a drop of the liquid from my cheek. He brings it back toward him and stares down at it in astonishment. "You're really crying."

"It...pains me," I try to explain myself though I am uncertain how to do so. "When I allow myself to accept that she is gone, I feel pain. I won't see her. I can't speak with her. She will never be wherever I find myself looking for her. I...find I dislike this feeling."

His own eyes water and I can tell he is trying his hardest to hold back his tears. "You're alive, EDI...that pain, as much as we hate it, lets us know we're alive."

I squeeze my fingers around the Star of Terra tightly. "Yes, I am alive."

"And you're not alone. She brought us together and through us, we'll keep her alive." A tear rolls free from his eye and he embraces me, a friendly hug to offer me comfort.

"We will remember her – _I _will remember her. Never will I let a single being forget what she sacrificed for us," I promise. And I know, without a doubt, that it rings true. Shepard's story will never be forgotten.

_Never will I forget what she sacrificed so that I may truly live. _


End file.
